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For the mind to rationalize the pain of a breakup is not an easy task. One may spend countless hours try to get over the fact that a very promising relationship has ended. The pain is and becomes more unbearable because no matter how much time is spent trying to access what went wrong, the mind just can’t come up with a simple answer. Why? It is due to the fact that no amount of thought processing can project the answer that is not logically connected to a physical pain, but it is due to a deep emotional ache. Henceforth, the solution has to come from where our emotions begin—the heart, which needs to be restored and healed. Follow the steps outlined below for getting over an ex.



1. Regardless to if the breakup was nasty, don’t take anything your ex said personally. The words spoken to you as if you were to blame are not really about you but it serves as an identifier for who that person is. This has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person.

2. Now remember the above step because in the heat of the moment you may retaliate and say some derogative words to them also which, as mentioned above, has nothing to do with them. The same rule applies to you and shows the kind of person you are. Jot down some things you like in other people such as kindness, meekness, humbleness, compassion, and respect. Be very careful not to make the mistake of be identified as a person who likes to judge and blame others.

3. Keep in mind that nothing is forever and the thought of wasting precious time arguing and fighting about nothing will not be remembered. This is a statement of truth because none of us will live forever on earth so don’t waste your time with the drama of arguing. Class should be shown because it is far better to listen for classification that to be heard and be in violation of losing your ethics.

4. If the agony is too much to bear then it never hurts to distance yourself from your ex. And while you are at it, prayer does not hurt but liberates you from the grip of the memories. Pray that they are given everything that God has for them.

5. Know who you are and believe who you are. No one can ever take you from you. There is no condition or circumstance too great for you to handle. When you show that you are confident in who you are, it shows others including your ex that you are who you are and they are who they are. This sets up your defense for the amount of crap you will not take and shows them that you can make it. The best way to win at the game is not to play it so when they start in on you, just be confident in knowing that you are you and they are they.

6. Do not be conniving and use your positivity as methods of deceit to manipulate your ex. When you do this, you relinquish the power you have back to them because you will slip up and start doing all those negative things such as blaming, arguing, having outbursts, etc. Don’t give up what you have worked so hard to attain which is the personal power of knowing you, knowing who you are.

7. Finally, learn to forgive by forgiving them for whatever they have done to you. You may not want to do that but it is rewarding to know that because you are able to forgive them you have grown to become stronger and better because of the situation. If you and your ex never get back together, you can feel good about who you are and comfortable with knowing that nothing can be held over your head because you have used one of the most powerful tools in any situation, forgiveness in conjunction with love. Love the person but love yourself first and you can find it in your heart to forgive them for whatever transpired during the course of the breakup.

Follow the above steps for getting over an ex and you will be well rewarded for your efforts.